Tag Archives: Allergies and Bullying

Tips for Dealing with Online Food Allergy Bullying

We all expect as adults that the days of being bullied or pushed around by someone were over, right? We’ve left the playground behind, we no longer worry about being invited to the popular kid’s birthday and we can simply walk away and never see that person again. We’ve spent years cultivating a group of friends from all walks of life that lift us up when we’re down, support us in our endeavours, and have even helped move us a couch or two.

But bullying may still occur as adults, especially as new Internet platforms arise and new forms of communication are born. We have to face it, people may use these platforms for bullying. For us as adults, instead of taking place in the school yard or lunch room bullying takes place in the seedy under belly of the internet and comment sections on social media. Written and expressed by people we’ve never met before but have plenty of opinions on our lifestyles. It’s simple to say ignore it, stay away and don’t engage with “trolls,” but this is easier said than done; especially when these types of situations creep up into our feeds and news stories grabbing our attention and prying at our curiosity to know how the general public thinks about food allergies.

Whether it’s stories about passengers being taken off flights for a food allergy, patrons having their allergies dismissed by restaurants, or parents being villainized in schools, bullying can still happen: Vile comments and cruel statements made from behind a keyboard in the shadows of anonymity are bound to pop up be shared and commented on. It’s a seemingly endless cycle. It’s an odd feeling, being attacked or bullied at our age especially within the confines of our own home and from someone behind a computer screen far away. How can you fight against a bully you’ve never met; how can you speak up for yourself when the comments are shared online repeatedly by thousands of people? This kind of bullying is magnified when anyone, anywhere can partake in these conversations with no evident real-world repercussions. There are important things to remember in any bullying situation:

Talk to someone: The internet is a big place, and even though there are people who disagree with you there are even more people who agree (especially when it comes to food allergies). Find a community who understands what you’re going through whether it be social media groups, webpages or likeminded comments. Talk to these people about how these situations make you feel. You’d be surprised how a simple kind gesture or comment can change your perspective.

It’s not your fault: We’re all brought up differently, have different perspectives, life experiences and outlooks; no two people are exactly alike. Just because someone doesn’t understand airborne allergens or cross-contamination doesn’t mean they’re evil or dumb, it just means they don’t live with it or have any frame of reference. Enlightening someone who isn’t aware can be a great thing to do. Being bullied is never your fault and it certainly isn’t right to hone in on a single feature you possess, like an allergy, and no one deserves to feel bad about a medical condition.

Don’t engage. But if you do, respond intelligently, not rapidly: If you feel up to responding to a negative comment, don’t stoop to their level. Never insult or sling mud; you’re just adding gas to a fire. Take a breath, do some research and respond maturely with facts and always keep a level head. Try inputting positive remarks and creating a dialogue where you can explore the topic together and find common ground, otherwise we’re no better.

And if all else fails…

Stop and Drop: If the comments and bullying is truly insulting or degrading and becomes harmful: Stop, save the evidence, then remove yourself from the situation, block the person or if it is really out of line, report them.

Bullying is never right or a good idea and it isn’t funny or fair. You should never be made to feel bad about your food allergies or anything else for that matter. The internet is a big place, you’re bound to encounter people or groups who will disagree with you, but you can always find people who will support you, have healthy discussions with, and give you a different perspective.  Social media and mass communication has brought us closer together and allowed us to share across the planet; let’s not let it tear us apart.

-Arianne K.

Advertisements

A Wolf-Pack Mentality: The Buddy System and your Allergies

1024px-Canis_lupus_in_quebec

When it comes to growing up with a severe food allergy, or even growing into one like I did, an important thing to remember is that you don’t always have to do everything yourself. Over the years, I’ve inadvertently learned to use a buddy system with my peanut and tree nut allergies. I never formally decided it would be a good idea. It just sort of happened and, since it works so well for me, I thought I’d share my experiences with you.

When I was diagnosed with my allergies at the age of nine, I felt pretty helpless. Many foods I once enjoyed were now off limits. I was nervous about eating at friends’ houses or at birthday parties. However, as I (and my mother, who deserves much of the credit) educated my friends about how to manage the risks involved with food allergies, they seemed to absorb the information and promote it. My close group of friends growing up soon became my first-line of defence against potentially dangerous allergy situations. They were always the first to mention the severity of my allergies at restaurants. I never asked them to do this and I always mention my allergies when I go out even if no one else does; but they cared about my well-being and wanted to look out for me. To quote The Hangover movie, we became a “wolf-pack.” And, whenever one of my friends was around, I knew they would look out for me. They were all shown how to properly administer an auto-injector, knew where mine was located, and knew the signs and symptoms of anaphylaxis. So my wolf-pack was always ready to jump in if I ever had a reaction (which, thankfully, I still haven’t had yet)! If you’re not convinced about the buddy system, let me share a few stories to show you what I mean.

When I was about ten, I was riding the bus to school. One of the students on the bus started to taunt my brother and I about our peanut allergies. As if words weren’t enough, he proceeded to take out a peanut butter sandwich and wave it in our faces. All the while he laughed and teased us. At some point, one of my friends stood up, grabbed the sandwich, and threw it out the window to end the threat. He kept his cool and, when we arrived at school, he was the first to tell the principal what had happened. Needless to say, the bully was suspended and never taunted us again.

Another time, when I was 18, I went to a New Year’s Eve party with my wolf-pack. It was at a friend’s house (whom I wasn’t too close with but knew from school). I knew the host didn’t know about my allergy because I never had the chance to talk to him about it; so I was a little nervous about what snacks would be laid out. When we got there, I was taking in the scene and my best friend popped around the corner with a serious look on his face. He told me not to go into the room he just came out of because there was a big plate of peanuts and cashews. Right after telling me this, he ran upstairs to talk to the host and his parents about my allergy. Minutes later, the plate was removed and the whole room was cleaned with all-purpose cleaner! I really couldn’t believe how accommodating everyone was and how quick my buddy was at managing the peanut risk.

In either of the above examples, I could have managed my allergy on my own; but the point I want to make is that, sometimes, it’s just easier to have a wolf-pack of friends to share the load. It’s a really good feeling when you know someone’s always got your back and is looking out for you. So what do you think? Do you have any wolf-pack experiences you want to share? If you don’t already have a buddy system, do you think it could potentially work for you? Post a comment below and let’s share some stories!

Dylan