Tag Archives: Attitude

Finding the Middle Ground

Compromise. It can be an intimidating word especially if you’re stubborn like I am. It may not be a natural skill but it is one we all need to learn, especially when we’re dealing with food allergies. Having a food allergy or knowing someone with one, we often find ourselves in situations where we need flex this skill and find the best and safest solution for your food allergy. Each day new situations arise where we need to find a sort of mediation that leaves everyone feeling satisfied. For me and my food allergies I find myself using the concept of compromise in the vein of finding alternative, but always safe solutions in regards to my food allergies in three specific situations. Pertaining to life with a food allergy, the definition of compromise is not narrowed to mean giving up or exposing yourself to dangerous situations.  It means adjusting the situation to find an outcome in which all parties are safe, comfortable and happy regarding their food allergies.

  1. So you’ve decided to bake or cook:

I have come to realize that if you didn’t grow up with food allergies or know someone with one, it can be an incredibly foreign experience, especially when baking and cooking. When cooking with a food allergy, I’m always trying to ensure my safety, whether it’s reading ingredients or ensuring my food hasn’t come into contact with any allergens (from shared utensils/foods to “may contain” labels). Extra attention needs to be taken to ensure food is safe and there is an element of compromise with this, but that doesn’t mean compromising safety in regards to your food allergies. It is important to remember that you should never cook with or ingest ingredients that contain or may contain your allergens. Substituting or compromising in this situation means finding creative solutions and ingredients (that do not contain yours or any other allergens) and finding fun ways to bake with them that ensure it is safe for all food allergies. There are so many substitutes available now to accommodate most food allergies, you’re sure to find a way to cook without ingredients like eggs, dairy, tree nuts, peanuts and more. It’s just a matter of being open and honest about your allergens and helping everyone understand why they need to be avoided certain ingredients. Luckily the word compromise can take many forms, and it doesn’t mean you need to compromise on taste or safety when it concerns your allergens in the kitchen.

  1. So you’ve decided to dine out:

There can be a lot of pressure when dining out with a food allergy. If you’re dining out on the fly, it can be stressful to find a safe place near you that also sates your dining companions and fulfills your allergen needs. When eating somewhere new or dining out in general, we have to help our friends and family understand that we can’t just eat anywhere. Precautionary measures need to take place before we sit down for a meal and both parties need to be willing to compromise to make this happen. This may look like a few different things, such as:

  1. Calling a restaurant and asking to speak to a manager or chef about their food allergy policies.
  2. Going somewhere and for drinks only.
  3. Bringing our own food to a restaurant, if permitted.
  4. Finding safe places to eat that may not be the cuisine you were hoping for.
  5. Choosing a dish that does not contain your friend’s allergen (if this is your personal preference).

A great way to avoid these awkward situations and find the best outcome for all is to talk before. Sit down, text, or call your friends/family and let them know why you are concerned, as well as where you feel safe eating, where you don’t, what makes you uncomfortable in a restaurant, and what you feel comfortable doing. This way you can, as a team, work out a plan that suits everyone’s needs and we all come away feeling like we achieved or got something out of it. The most important thing is that we feel safe, comfortable and don’t leave feeling hungry.

  1. So you’ve decided to travel:

Vacations are not often a spur of the moment thing when you live with a food allergy. Lots of meticulous planning goes into each trip and for those of us who have a food allergy, we have to be willing to compromise on where we stay, where we go, what we bring, and even what airline we travel on. We have to be understanding and acknowledge that we may need to stay somewhere where we can cook our own meals or bring our own food. Just because we need to take precautionary measures doesn’t mean that we have to compromise on fun or cost. We can still enjoy the full extent of our vacation, we just have to be willing to make the necessary arrangements beforehand and ensure our travel companions are willing to compromise as well. Like dining out, it’s all about options and in order for everyone to come away happy, we have to work as a team, communicate with each other and be willing to compromise on certain things that are not necessities.

We have to be willing to compromise without sacrificing safety. To meet each other half way, give a little, and take a little, otherwise everyone is going to leave most situations unhappy or unsatisfied. If we start considering ourselves sleuths by always finding answers for new and exciting ways to dine out, bake for others, and travel safely with a food allergy, it will make learning that tricky “compromise” skill just a little bit easier every time. As for those living with an allergy, we have to be willing to stand up for ourselves, admit when we’re uncomfortable and have faith that those around us will help us find the best possible solutions by flexing that compromise muscle.

– Arianne K.

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Setting the Mood: Letting your Partner know about your Food Allergies

As Valentine’s Day looms closer, it’s easy to fall under the spell of Cupid’s arrow and think of romantic nights out with someone special. Whether it’s your first or tenth date, this time of year sends butterflies fluttering around your stomach, but let’s hope it’s the nerves of a first date and not your food allergies causing a rumble in there. So, when should you tell your significant other or first date about your food allergies? When is the right time to air this tumultuous subject? The answer is as soon as possible, like, do it now… I’ll wait.

There’s no point in stalling till your inches away from your allergen, or second guessing what they ate before you go in for a kiss. Treating your food allergies like a mysterious secret waiting to be unravelled is not a good dating tool. It’s a serious topic that deserves to be mentioned upfront with honesty and confidence. If you’re anything like me, you tend to undervalue your food allergies around new people for fear of how they will react to the little inconveniences it may cause them. It’s a nasty habit I picked up in school; no one wants to be different or stand out, so I brushed off the seriousness of my allergies or neglected to tell people right away. I waited till the absolute last second causing myself serious anxiety from being near my allergens when it could have been avoided. It’s a habit I try to break every day in adulthood but unfortunately it rears its ugly head every so often.

This bad habit of ignoring the seriousness of our food allergies or hiding them under a rug should never carry over into our dating lives. It’s a subject that will inevitably come up, and chances are much like a lump under a rug: it’s going to trip you up, make you fall flat on your face and seriously ruin your day. Picture this, you’re on a date with the greatest person, you’re shy, they’re nervous, and so far, the evening has been wonderful. And then the two of you walk you up to the doors of a beautiful Thai restaurant where your date has made reservations for you. Great! The only problem is you’re extremely allergic to tree nuts, peanuts, and sesame. Uh oh, now you have go through the awkward process of telling them about your allergies, why you can’t eat there, why you didn’t tell them beforehand, etc.  To think all this could have been avoid if you were just open and honest about your food allergies.

Be confident and proud of your food allergies! After all, they are a part of you and help make you the amazing person you are! Tell them about your food allergies, how serious they are, where you can eat comfortably and anything else that makes you feel safe. It’s better to be upfront honest with them rather than misguiding in order to appear easy-going or not too picky.  Chances are they’ll understand, listen and heck, even care about your allergies and safety! And if they don’t care or try to help, they’re really not worth dating in the first place, are they? Valentine’s Day can be romantic, fun, exciting, or anything you want it to be. The butterflies in your stomach or nerves at the table should come from harmless first date jitters and attraction, not the food on your plate. Telling new people about your food allergies can be tough and even scary sometimes. But the weight you’ll feel when it’s lifted off your shoulders is immense, and it’ll leave the rest of your evening open to discussing similar interests, sharing candid smiles and enjoying one seriously romantic evening. After all, your allergies are a part of you, and you want someone to love you for who you really are.

-Arianne.K

Adventuring with an Allergy

I love camping.

Not the kind where you drive your car to a busy park, with running water and giant RVs. I love the kind of camping where you stuff 5 days of food into a bag, with a tent and a compass, and take your canoe out into the wilderness.

This past fall I tried my first solo camping trip! I took a rented canoe, my dog, and headed out for five days in the backcountry. No electricity, no communication, nothing.

I was paddling along a gorgeous, calm lake, I had the whole place to myself, when it occurred to me that if anything happened I would be totally alone. Camping can be dangerous I guess. Then a second thought occurred to me, what if the last person who rented this canoe was eating peanuts? Are my hands covered in peanut residue? Is that even a thing?

In the city, I find I can easily forget about my allergy. It’s second nature to avoid certain restaurants and groceries, I wash my hands often and I know where the nearest hospital is. But out there in the woods I had a new challenge, could I do this on my own? Was I missing risks that I would never encounter at home?

Luckily for me this thought, like all others, was short lived and I was able to get back to enjoying the solitude, and majesty of nature. For me this was a great reminder about life lines and vigilance. It’s easy to take my safety for granted, but it’s never a given. For me to enjoy these adventures I have to spend a little time in advance getting ready. I talked to a pharmacist and my doctor, and made sure I was prepared for an emergency. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of a cure.

If I’m being honest, I did get a little paranoid and washed my canoe paddle at my first camp site, so I didn’t have to think about it anymore.

Having a food allergy is never going to stop me from having adventures. This trip with my dog was one of the most peaceful weeks I’ve ever experienced.

If you want to have a great time, don’t let an allergy stop you. Prepare in advance and get out there and enjoy!

– Jason B.

 

 

C is for Confidence: A Food Allergy Story

Something I know now to be the corner stone of my food allergy identity is confidence. Confidence taught, learned, and exercised at a young age is key to becoming an adult who speaks up about their food allergy in every situation. If your confidence is stolen or stifled, it can cause many kids to become ashamed of their food allergies. Then they may attempt to hide their allergy from others or dismiss the seriousness of it which makes the potential for a reaction so much larger. Instead of fighting for your child to have certain foods in a classroom, we should be explaining the severity and importance of awareness. Confidence can be a shield for ignorance and a tool to help change the perception many have about food allergies.

Confidence is the most important skill you can craft when it comes to having a food allergy and it’s something that I think needs to be instilled at a young age. We as a food allergy community need to be building each other up, and helping to educate those around us so no one feels bad or ashamed on a daily basis. If we understand at a young age that we are all unique and beautiful, then the classroom and world will be a far more accepting place.

There is a saying: It takes a village to raise a child. As a community, we should be working together to help those with food allergies gain a voice that is proud of their food allergy. Confidence in myself and my fellow classmates would have made a world of difference between eating alone and helping everyone understand food allergies at my school. It seems like a small skill, but those little seeds tended to over years in school and into adulthood will create an aware, powerful counterpart in the food allergy community. A community that is dedicated to educating others, but more importantly, confident and proud in themselves.

– Arianne K.

The Best (and Worst) Food Allergy Jokes

As with most humour, there is the potential to offend your audience. As someone who has lived with anaphylaxis my whole life, I often find comfort in my ability to laugh things off or look at the brighter side in life. I understand wholeheartedly that this is a serious condition with potentially life-threatening consequences. If any of these jokes are distasteful and offensive to you, I apologize. They are, in my opinion, the best (and worst) food allergy jokes out there!

Two happy woman friends laughingDid you hear about the Frenchman who could only count to seven?
-He had a huit allergy

What does an allergic person have in common with bees?
-They both have hives!

Did you hear about the convict who had allergies?
-He broke out

Why didn’t the child with allergies play the board game Clue?
It contained Mustard!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
-To avoid his allergen

What did the night owl say to his pal the early riser?
-I’m allergic to mornings.

Teacher: Where’s your homework?
Student: I’m allergic to homework.

1: Knock, knock.
2: Who’s there?
1: Auntie
2: Ben who?
1: Anti-Histamine

1: Knock, knock.
2: Who’s there?
1: May
2: May who?
1: May contain trace amounts of ‘nuts’

What was the cause of the tech-guru’s most recent seafood reaction?
-Her new shell-phone!

– Nicole K.

From Food Allergies Suck to Food Allergies Rock!

Annoyed woman plugging ears with fingers doesn't want to listenI’ve found that there can be a lot of negativity revolving around food allergies. “Oh, you can’t eat peanut butter? Your life must suck!” “What?! You have to carry that thing around all the time? That’s brutal.” “Well if you can’t eat this, what can you eat?”

While the negativity can be quite overwhelming at times, I don’t really understand why it happens in the first place. What difference does it make to someone else’s life if I can’t eat something with peanuts or tree nuts in it? My life does not suck because I can’t eat Nutella or peanut butter. In fact, I think my life is better because I can’t eat those things. On the one hand, I remind everyone that because of my risk for anaphylaxis with peanuts and tree nuts, I avoid plenty of baked goods and sweets that my otherwise very sweet tooth would indulge in daily! This keeps me much healthier and in better shape. I’ve also tried peanut butter when I underwent an oral allergy test and full disclosure, I did not like the taste AT ALL.

Secondly, because of my food allergies I have learned so much about food, restaurant hospitality, travelling, airlines, baking, cooking, and especially about myself, that I would have never learned otherwise. My food allergy has opened more doors of opportunity than I could have possibly imagined when my 9-year-old self was told he was allergic to peanuts and tree nuts.

Teamwork meeting concept
For the most part, I am a very positive person. I pride myself on seeing the good in most situations. It’s not always easy to be positive when people around you always seem to pick out the negative aspects of life with a food allergy. My suggestion is to consider the fact that these people may simply not know anything about food allergies and their comments are simply ignorance. Take the opportunity to spread awareness and teach them about the positive aspects of food allergies. I think there’s something to be said about maintaining a positive outlook on food allergies. Positivity is contagious! Maybe your return comments will help them see why their comments were unjustified and why life with a food allergy really isn’t so bad after all.

– Dylan B.

The Anxiety of Never Having an Allergic Reaction

As someone who has been immersed in the food allergy world for most my life, I’ve read and heard a lot about anxiety with food allergies. However, most of the attention has always been on anxiety after experiencing an allergic reaction. As an example, my brother has had three major reactions to peanuts or tree nuts where he had to use his epinephrine auto-injector. After each of these reactions, he was very hesitant to eat out or try any new foods for fear that they might trigger another reaction. One of my best friends grew into his food allergies after the age of 20 and has since experienced at least 11 severe allergic reactions, some of which required the use of multiple epinephrine auto-injectors and very close calls in getting to the hospital. Needless to say, his anxiety when eating in a social setting is quite high!

My own anxiety about my food allergy to peanuts and tree nuts feels quite different. I’m technically at-risk for anaphylaxis. I’ve been tested every other year for as long as I can remember and the result is always the same. The peanut bump always swells up like a balloon. That being said, I’ve been extremely fortunate and never experienced an allergic reaction. I know the signs and symptoms only through what I’ve read, heard, or seen. I’ve never physically or mentally experienced what a reaction actually feels like but I still get anxious at times.

man with stressed face expression brain melting into linesI’ll give you an example. Around the holiday season, people like to share baked goods with me at the physiotherapy clinic I work for. I know baked goods are potentially risky for someone with a peanut/tree nut allergy so I always triple check ingredients and ask about the risk for cross-contamination. Only when I feel 100% confident that the treat is allergen-safe, will I take a bite. Well on one particular instance, a patient brought in brownies. I asked about each and every ingredient, was taken through the steps required to make them, and was assured they were “nut-free” because she had a nephew who had the same allergy. From the protocol I made for myself, the brownies passed every test. So I took a bite. It was delicious! I thought about how I could easily eat the entire batch and not think twice about it.

Then, I heard the patient chatting with another patient about Belgian chocolate that she bought from a bulk food store. Bulk food? Belgian chocolate? One red flag went up. She continued to talk about how that chocolate was so good that she put it in the brownies. Another red flag went up. As she turned to me, she asked if I could taste that chocolate. All I could think about was the risk of cross-contamination from the bulk food store. As a rule, I never eat “may contain peanuts or tree nuts” products because any risk is too much risk for me. So in the moment, I simply nodded my reply, set down the rest of my brownie and left the clinic to go on my lunch. As I drove, I checked my signs and symptoms a hundred times thinking that I was likely to react. I was shaking and had put myself into an anxious fit! An hour passed, then two, then three, and I realized I must have been lucky this time.

It may have been an over reaction on my part but I still think I had reason to feel anxious. The unknown, especially when it comes to food, can be quite nerve-wracking. I also think that maybe my own anxiety stems from the fact that I’ve had to administer an epinephrine auto-injector on both my brother and my best friend. Maybe it stems from the fact that I have seen the fear in my friend’s face when he was experiencing his most severe allergic reaction. Whatever the case, I’ve learned to slow my breathing, calm my thoughts, and focus on what is actually happening, not what I think could happen. This strategy has helped me conquer food-related anxiety multiple times and I consider myself very lucky to be 17 years without an allergic reaction (knock on wood!!)

– Dylan B.