Category Archives: Allergies and Attitude

Eat, Drink and Be Scary: Allergen-Friendly Halloweens

As hinges creek from an unknown breeze, a door closes when no one was around, and the sound of footsteps follow you up the stairs. When spooky things are in the air and the sky goes dark…you know that Halloween is here! Happy haunts lurk behind every corner and pumpkins decorate porches as ghost’s float in nearby trees. As you can probably tell, I love this time of year for so many reasons, but Halloween is by far the biggest reason. What’s not to love about this wickedly ghoulish time of year? Well, for some of us there is a different chill in the air that has nothing to do with ghosts and goblins, and everything to do with treat bags and what tricks might be in them. Living with a food allergy during this time of year can be hard to navigate, so it’s important to be aware and look out for our allergens. From parties with friends, to having “trick or treaters” at your door, allergens can be anywhere and or hidden in so many unsuspecting things.

For those of us who are younger and out trick or treating, there are ways to stay safe and avoid your allergen(s). One example is waiting to eat until you get home as this will give you more time to read all food ingredient labels. If you’re handing out goodies, make sure you look for the speciality bags or badges that some children may have to indicate that they have allergies. If you plan to accommodate by handing out allergen-friendly goodies, consider putting a teal pumpkin out to show your support of food allergies, or a teal light in support of Food Allergy Canada’s new “Shine a Light” campaign. This also acts as an indicator to parents and kids that you have safe or non-food related treats. A small gesture goes a long way for kids who are out trick or treating and being conscious of allergens can make their night!

Dressing up is one of the best parts of Halloween. Each year my partner and I bet ourselves that we can out do our costumes from the previous year. Some years involve little to prepare while others take a good hour to create and paint. One important thing I’ve learned while living with food allergies at this time of year is to read everything, and I don’t just mean snacks. Make-up, fake blood, and other things that add a touch of flare to a costume may contain your allergens. Whether you’re applying zombie make-up or making sure your vampire comes equipped with blood fangs, make sure your allergens aren’t present in the product before application. I have found that anything from latex, or nut oils, to sulphites can be found in various makeups. Find something allergen-friendly and do a mark/spot test at least 24 hours before you plan to dress up in order to make your ghoulish appearance one to remember.

As you get older, Halloween becomes less about trick or treating and more about parties, scary movie marathons and other activities with our friends. But, much like going out and getting candy, our allergens can still be found at all of these events. One thing to keep in mind whether you’re binging your favourite horror movie series or at a party with friends is that it’s important to follow the same rules you normally follow in your everyday life. Read ingredient labels even if you’ve had that type of candy before. Some candy or chocolate bars could contain slightly different ingredients or have different labelling for Halloween since these smaller products may be processed in different facilities. If there are homemade goods, check with the chef/baker before eating. Ask about allergens, the risk of cross-contamination, etc., and only eat the foods that you’re 100% comfortable eating. A good alternative is to get your cauldron brewing and make your own treats to share with everyone so that you’re positive it’s allergen-friendly. You could also consider buying candy chocolates you’ve researched yourself and feel confident are  allergen-friendly.

As an adult at a Halloween party, you’re sure to run into some boos, wait no I mean booze. Pumpkin flavoured beers and other holiday treats are staples at most adult Halloween parties. Much like any other food, we need to make sure what we’re eating and drinking is allergen-friendly. If it’s a punch bowl, ask what fruits, flavours, and alcohols are involved. If it’s a shared/serve yourself bowl, make sure there is no risk of cross-contamination or see if you can get first dibs or a special cup/bowl just to be sure it’s allergen-friendly with no risk of cross-contamination. Allergen labelling on specialty beers and wines can be tricky, but I always try to call or email the company if I’m unsure of all the ingredients. A good trick for any party is to bring your own drinks, something you know is allergen-friendly and never leave your glass or drink unattended.

As we grow older it’s easy to lose the spirit of Halloween, dismissing it as a childish tradition. I think we need to get back to our childhood roots, tell each other ghost stories, eat candy together and dress up as our favorite characters and people. This year put out a teal pumpkin or light, have some allergen-friendly or non-food treats ready, grab a scary movie or have a party to get into the spooky spirit. Happy Halloween!

– Arianne K.

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Cycling Preparations with Food Allergies

Why I’m biking from Toronto to Ottawa:

Last fall, I realized I had spent yet another summer with a pretty new bike and not a lot of biking. I decided that I needed motivation to get on my bike, and the joy of commuting in the rain just wasn’t enough.

I wanted to finally plan a big bike trip. I spoke with my allergist about it who recommended that I plan a route that considers a 30-minute ambulance response time. I’m allergic to a variety of fruits and vegetables, tree nuts, black pepper, and sulphites, so that’s a pretty reasonable request. After meeting with my allergist, I then talked to a paramedic friend of mine, to see where I could bike while staying in range of hospitals and ambulances. “Why not just come on the Paramedic Ride?” he joked. But then we both realized that it was actually a pretty good idea! I’m happy to raise awareness and funds for a Paramedic Memorial, and I get a very safe bike trip in the deal! Plus, I figured that meeting more paramedic friends is not a bad idea!

How I got ready:

This trip was mostly complicated by how to transport my bicycle, and how to manage my food allergies. I started getting ready last fall, by borrowing a winter trainer. I didn’t get it set up until Christmas, but then I got into a rhythm of biking in the garage while watching Netflix. The sawdust in my garage was mildly itchy at times and going outside in the winter after training hard involved quite a brief cold spurt (if I had more space I’d definitely consider bringing the trainer indoors).

I quickly discovered that learning to bike long distances with allergies also involves learning to make sport snacks and foods. I read A LOT in an attempt to figure out how to make an electrolyte drink, and when I realized I was tired from lacking them, I started adding a little more salt and a lot more protein to my biking snacks. I would highly recommend The Feed Zone Portables cookbook for a variety of “from-scratch” sport food ideas.

In the end, I settled for mostly eating bananas, making cookies, and occasionally making granola bars. I gave up on the granola bars half way through the summer when my jaw started hurting because they were too chewy (oops) but I will definitely keep trying recipes. On the electrolyte front, there are a bunch of great DIY recipes, but most involve a few ingredients I am not yet allowed to consume. So I talked to my mom, a nurse in the remote town of Angola, and she explained that for a better-than-nothing solution she usually puts a spoon of sugar, two pinches of salt, and a bit of flavouring into a litre of water. I’ve translated that into 1 scant teaspoon of salt, 1 heaping teaspoon of sugar, and a good splash of homemade ginger syrup into 1.5 litres of water. It’s not perfect or ideal, but I reserve its use for days when it’s really hot or when I’m doing a long bike workout (30-km or more).

With all the food and snacks prepared, I have managed 2500-km of biking so far in 2018, with my longest ride being a 115-km trip around the small town of Carp, Ontario. I might have had a little too much fun in my last week of training, biking around the city on specific streets to “write” out the fundraising website!

 

What I brought with me:

Most importantly, I packed a couple epinephrine auto-injectors. I’d usually bring more for a big trip, but the Canada-wide Epi-Pen® shortage makes my pharmacy reluctant to pass out more than absolutely needed. That being said, I’m not concerned since we’re getting an ambulance escort for the event.

Because I didn’t want to give the ride organizers the extra hassle of arranging safe food for me, I decided I’d pack my own food. Bananas and oranges are pretty much guaranteed to be supplied at biking events, and if not, I can definitely stock up on them in any little grocery store I encounter along the way. I have a few simple snack foods like Nori (seaweed), rice crackers, chocolate chips, and homemade cookies.

That left me with the meal food left to plan, as well as figuring out how to cook it. I didn’t want to just eat sandwiches, and since this ride has the luxury of ambulance support vehicles, I planned a few frozen meals and a number of homemade dehydrated ones as well. To cook these, I brought a one-burner electric stove, a frying pan for at the hotel, and a Hot Logic Mini (basically a plug-in lunchbox which heats meals and keeps them warm; it’s going to be my secret to instant hot meals whenever I stop). The frying pan is for boiling water for breakfast and will act as a general backup for cooking. I know hotels have microwaves sometimes, but they can be a pain to clean up, and they heat things less evenly. Plus, I hear we’re often stopping for lunch in parks for this event.

Lastly, I also made sure to think through my drink situation. At home I drink tap water, because some water filters contain trace amounts of sulphites (including some bottled waters), which give me predictable hives. I know the ride provides bottled water, so I’m just going to fill up each day with the water that I feel most safe drinking.

So now I have allergen-safe food and water, my bicycle, the hotel is booked, and I’ve been biking A LOT all summer. I feel ready, I’ve landed in Toronto… here I go!

– Janice H.

Addressing the “Allergy” in the Room: Communicating Your Allergy to Others

Going out for dinner, whether on a date, with colleagues from work, or with your closest friends, you are likely to experience some common elements: loud music, clinking plates/utensils, crowded tables, and multiple wait staff running around, each server striving to satisfy the multiple tables under their supervision.

Sometimes in this environment, it is easy to feel anxious or feel like it is a burden to mention your food allergy to the wait staff (or to the company you are with) when you go to order your meal, because it is one more thing they need to worry about. Growing up with a severe peanut/tree nut allergy, I’ve struggled with how to handle situations like this. As a child, speaking to any “stranger” is scary enough, let alone to inform them of a possible life-threatening reaction to occur under their supervision. It took me a long time to find my confidence and even still, it is not always easy. However, the reality is, we should all feel safe going out to eat and be able to enjoy an anxiety-free meal with the company we are with.

OK, so let’s say you are now at a table with friends and the waiter is making their way around the table taking orders, and you are next up. Instead of being anxious and overthinking everything in your head, start thinking about what questions you can ask the waiter to ensure you feel comfortable eating there. For example, you can ask questions about food preparation and the risk of cross-contamination to prove that you are quite serious about the safety of your food. Or you can ask what their process is for handling tables with allergies. It is important to communicate that this is a life-threatening allergy; this is not an intolerance or a preference, this is an allergy. Another tactic is to get in front of the issue by pulling the server aside before ordering and asking them what dishes are safe or easy to prepare to accommodate someone with a severe food allergy. You will find that most of the time the servers are educated to handle this scenario and more than happy to offer recommendations as well as assist in finding you a meal that you will safely enjoy. If there is ever an instance that the response you receive is not entirely confident, I would recommend speaking with the chef themselves or choose somewhere else to eat since nothing is worth the risk of having an allergic reaction.

This above scenario not only applies for the wait staff, but also for the people with whom you are enjoying the meal. Some people are not accustomed to dealing with food allergies, or never grew up in an environment with someone that had a severe allergy. Have you ever been out for lunch with a friend and they decide to order a dish with the allergen you are severely allergic to? How do you address this without hindering their dining experience and avoid the rest of the lunch being uncomfortable? I have been in this situation and to be honest, the first time I definitely could have handled it better. I was extremely uncomfortable and anxious knowing that the allergen I have been conditioned to avoid for the majority of my life is in the dish right beside mine. However, once you confront the issue the first time, the rest is a breeze. One possible solution is to simply ask your friend to slide to another seat at the table to minimize the cross-contamination risk. Allergies are so common now and being able to speak about them with your friends, family or the waiter should never feel uncomfortable.

So next time you go out for a bite to eat, check the menu beforehand, read the reviews, and make sure your company and the waiter are informed of any food allergies. This is your safety, your life, your allergy and most importantly, it is YOUR responsibility to communicate.

– Phil Greenway

 

Required Reading: Remembering to Read the Label, Even When You’re Comfortable…

Everyone always tells you, never visit the grocery store when you’re hungry. With a rumble in your stomach, everything on the shelves can start to look delicious. From chips, to cookies, to mashed potatoes, you’d buy just about anything to sate the hungry in your stomach. Satisfying your “hangrier” self can be a bit tricky when you have multiple food allergies. A grocery store can suddenly become a library of required reading with a hefty test at the end before you can go home and eat.

With so many labels to read and so much fine print to understand, it’s easy to get complacent and glance over ingredients with glazed eyes. Sometimes we can become too comfortable when it comes to brands or foods we’ve known and used for some time. My thought process in a store has bounced between, “it’s always been safe,” or “I’ve never had an issue with their other products,” and regrettably even, “this looks good I’ll read it later.” I’ve been guilty of making the mistake of throwing a commonly used brand product into my basket without reading the label, assuming it will be fine. However, a recent experience with a familiar brand taught me to take the few extra seconds no matter how busy I am, and always read the ingredients no matter what.

A crumbling experience: There is a brand of crackers I’ve trusted for as long as I can remember. Normally when I go grocery shopping I read every boxed or canned item I put in my basket. This routine started by my mom who would let me read ingredient labels after her and would quiz me about what’s safe, what isn’t and why. But that day, for a myriad of reasons and silly excuses I grabbed a box of crackers, a new flavour that looked good and put it in my basket. I went on my way busily preparing for a potluck the next day. For some reason, I didn’t even think twice about reading the ingredients for the crackers in my basket. I assumed, like all other flavours from the brand, that it was safe, and you know what they say when you assume… I got the other items to make a yummy dip to pair with my box of crackers and went on my way.

It wasn’t until the next day when I was plating the crackers, mere minutes before my guest arrived that I noticed something odd about these crackers. On the outside, they seemed fine but once cracked open there were seeds, sesame seeds to be exact, something I am allergic to and something that had never been on or in this brand of crackers before. I was dumbfounded and frankly disappointed with myself for not reading the ingredients list beforehand. After that night, and narrowly avoiding a reaction, I promised myself no matter how comfortable or familiar, I will always read every label and ingredient before I buy anything.

I was able to avoid a reaction that night but found myself wondering how many times I may have put myself at risk in the past because I forgot to read ingredients or was overly comfortable with a brand. As we get older, day-to-day errands can be overwhelming and sometimes reading every label in the grocery store can seem like a task you seriously just don’t want to do. When you’re stressed and hungry, you want to get in and out of the grocery store as quickly as possible. Even when we’re in a hurry though, it’s important to take an extra 10 seconds and read labels to ensure the foods you’re buying are safe. I always try and think of it along the same lines as the precautions I would take when dining out. I would personally never eat anywhere without researching, calling ahead and always ensuring the kitchen is aware and capable to handle cross-contamination. The same rules and precautions should be applied to our kitchens and shopping experiences.

As an allergy community we’re always looking for new and safe brands to add to our pantries. If we take the time, do some research and find safe products, we’ll have a better, and safer cooking experience. Creating culinary treats can challenge us to experiment in the kitchen in the best ways, so don’t let a little label reading stop you from cooking up a delicious meal.

Bon appetit!

– Arianne K.

Honesty is the Best Policy with Food Allergies.

Has this situation ever happened to you? You are out at a restaurant dining with friends and family, and after you’ve told the server about your allergens (and stressed the importance of proper food preparation), someone else at your table tells a little white lie claiming that they have an allergy too. They casually drop the information, with you knowing their allergy isn’t true. To them, it’s an innocent piece of fiction – maybe they don’t like the taste, or the texture bothers them or they could even be on a new diet. But to you, who has a legitimate diagnosed food allergy, it’s a big problem as you are both suddenly cast in the same light. The server may even flag that the meal your friend is ordering contains their supposed allergen.  To which your dinner date may brush it off or say they can have a “cheat day” or that “a little dab won’t hurt.”

Your eyes dart from your dinner companion to the server, silently begging them to understand you’re not like that, that your allergies are important and very real. Has your jaw ever hit the table in disbelief during a situation like this, or caused you to shrink into your chair frozen with anxiety that your allergy’s severity was just seemingly “watered down”? I’ve struggled with how to treat situations like this. I treat my food allergies seriously, I make sure everyone around me knows my allergens, how serious they are and how to identify and respond to a reaction. My allergens are very real and serious. Being put into a situation like the one above isn’t fair.

What do you do? Do you express loudly that your allergen is serious, reaffirming your allergies with the restaurant wait staff? Do you sit quietly and hope the server takes all of the food restrictions seriously regardless of the situation? Do you interrupt your friend and say “stop misleading everyone” and potentially embarrass them in public? It’s tough, it’s awkward for everyone and let’s face it, it can be downright annoying. When this happens to me, I feel like I’ve been put in a position where I need to defend my allergies to everyone around me.

Situations like these can be much more common than you’d think. It’s why it’s time we get honest about our food allergies with ourselves, and with others about the misconceptions surrounding them. It may seem easier to say that you have an allergy when you just don’t enjoy a food. What’s the harm, you think? Personally, I’ve fought for every inch of respect and safety in my life when it comes to my food allergies. Before I found my voice, my mom spent hours on phones calling companies, making food, and generally keeping me safe and bringing normalcy to an otherwise challenging life with food allergies.

It took me a long time to find my confidence. My food allergies are a part of me and a big part of what makes me, me. That’s not to say there isn’t still a struggle between my introvert and extrovert self when it comes to telling people about my food allergies, especially in tense situations like the one above. Dining out with food allergies can be stressful, especially when someone casually stretches the truth about their own dietary issues. It’s important for those with true food allergies to help others understand the importance and seriousness of food allergies. Ask additional questions about food preparation and cross-contamination to prove that you are quite serious about the safety of your food. I still spend a lot of time calling restaurants and companies, trying to find safe food and places to go.  When others fabricate a food allergy to avoid foods they don’t like to eat, it can feel like it diminishes all the time and energy we as a food allergy community have put into staying safe and aware with our food allergies.

Let’s face it, there is always going to be a dish or food that you don’t like (for me it’s cauliflower). We can avoid that food and tell others we don’t like the taste or texture, but we should never deceive others or misrepresent these dislikes as an allergen. Although it may seem like a harmless and victimless statement, it can hurt those around you who do have a food allergy.

For those of us with a food allergy, instead of getting angry or upset when people evade foods with false allergy statements, we can instead teach them about the seriousness of a food allergy and the affect that a little lie could have on your requests, so we can all feel safe and satisfied when dining out.

  • Arianne K.

Awareness for Commonly Misused Allergy Phrases

Summer is right around the corner, and everyone who loves camping, hiking, or enjoying a refreshing beverage on a patio with friends should be excited. Since I love camping, let’s set the scene on a Friday afternoon in the grocery store gathering some food before some friends and I head up to a favourite campsite for a weekend of s’mores, fishing, swimming, and canoeing. I have a life-threatening allergy to peanuts and tree nuts, and as I walk by the pastry section in the grocery store, my friend says “Oh, we shouldn’t get those donuts, that’ll kill you. Let’s get chips for snack instead”. This is a common scenario that I have encountered on a regular basis so let’s talk about it.

***

I also love patio season, so here’s another scenario. Let’s say some friends and I are enjoying the sun on a patio, looking at the drink menu. I also have an allergy to raw pineapple, which has been difficult for me because I grew into it. I had been able to enjoy this, my favourite fruit, up until a few months ago when I discovered through a food allergy test, that I had developed a life-threatening allergy. As we’re looking at the drink menu, one of my friends says aloud, “Oh, look at the cocktail selection. You can’t have that one, or that one, or that one, or even that one. Man, you can’t have anything!”

***

These two situations can happen all too often to an adult with allergies, and to an outsider, these phrases may appear harmless. But let’s say you recently experienced an anaphylactic allergic reaction where you had to use your epinephrine auto-injector, called 9-1-1, struggled to breath, and had to be taken to the hospital for treatment. If someone refers to one of your allergens by saying “that will kill you”, they may think they are making a harmless statement. If you’re like me, however, and have suffered a severe anaphylactic reaction where you may have thought your situation was life-threatening, hearing something say “that’ll kill you” may bring about a strong emotional response. Like me, you may remember the fear you had when you weren’t able to breathe, or the relief you felt when the fire fighters or paramedics rushed into your house to save you, or the comfort you felt when you came home from the hospital. It is important for those with – and especially without – a life-threatening allergy to be cognizant of the wording they use when describing someone’s allergen.

The same goes for the phrase, “oh, you can’t have that”. This may seem even more benign, but to an individual with an allergy who is with a group of friends enjoying a food that they cannot enjoy, they may feel ostracized or left out. As someone who developed allergies as an adult who had previously enjoyed foods that I cannot have anymore, I often feel sad to hear others comment on my shortcomings in this way. Although I do appreciate someone trying to look out for me, there’s another way to go about it.  A way that doesn’t single me out or make me feel uncomfortable.

If you are an adult with allergies, you may have experienced these scenarios before. You may not have noticed that these phrases were said, or you might have experienced a strong emotional response, bringing you back to a severe reaction. It’s important to be able to balance your appreciation for their concern and your annoyance at their possible ignorance to the gravity of what they’re saying. A possible response is, “thanks for bringing it up, but please don’t use that wording.” Be honest with your friends and let them know how you really feel. They likely didn’t even know their words had such an impact. Slowly, let’s all change the landscape of misused allergy phrases.

– Fraser K.

Discussions with Significant Others about Allergies

As an adult with allergies, I understand that it’s important to ensure that individuals close to me are informed about my allergies in order to avoid reactions. I recently grew into some food allergies that I consider strange, and when I told my family members about these allergies, it was a fairly straightforward conversation. I simply told them what I was allergic to, what could happen if I ingest these allergens, and what to do in case I have a reaction. They asked some questions such as: “How much do you have to eat to have a reaction?”, “Will you have a reaction by smelling the allergen or by touching it?” and “Can we still have the allergen in the house?”. I provided them with answers and we went about our day. I didn’t feel any pressure from them and I wasn’t worried that they would abandon me as a brother or son because I was confident that they understood what I had shared.

This conversation can be a little more challenging when discussing allergies with someone I’m out on a first date with. There’s been times when I had limited options of where to go out for dinner because of my allergy, and I sometimes thought, what if I’m going on a date with a person who is a big foodie? If you’re like me, you might be afraid that they may see you as someone with baggage or that dating you would be too much of a challenge. Let’s be clear on something I’ve learned from experience: if someone doesn’t want to maintain a romantic relationship with you just because you’re an adult with allergies, that person likely isn’t worth your time. Nevertheless, it can be challenging to discuss allergies within a new romantic relationship.

Scenario One: First Date Jitters (What if they don’t like me because of my allergies?)

Here’s a hypothetical scenario that I will use to teach a lesson that I learned through experience. Jack has food allergies and is out on a first date with Lisa. They find that they are really hitting it off. They find that they have many things in common and their personalities complement each other. As the night closes, Jack walks Lisa to a cab, and she leans in to kiss him goodnight. Unfortunately, he’s unsure if she’s eaten one of his allergens during the day, and he knows that it could be risky to kiss. So, he pulls away, leaving her in an awkward limbo. Jack thinks about two options: he can sprint in the opposite direction, never to see her again, or he can stop to explain to Lisa that he has a life-threatening food allergy and check to see what she ate before they move in for a safe kiss.

I’ve been in this situation before and find that it is beneficial to causally bring up my food allergies to a new date early in the date to avoid this awkward confrontation. If your allergy doesn’t come up in conversation, or you don’t want to centre the attention on it during the date, then you may have to turn away from a friendly kiss in order to remain safe in the moment. Don’t worry about how awkward it may feel. Just stay strong and explain the situation to your date. They’ll probably feel relieved that the reason you didn’t want to kiss them wasn’t because you didn’t like them. This is a truthful situation of the classic “it’s not you, it’s me.”

Scenario Two: Dinner Party (How do I navigate a group setting with an overprotective partner?)

But let’s say that Jack had discussed his food allergy with his new date Lisa, and he avoided the awkward pull-back ahead of time. They’ve enjoyed several new dates together. Let’s discuss another situation that can commonly come up in a relationship where one of the people has a severe food allergy. Jack and his new girlfriend Lisa are going to a dinner party. About 10 to 15 people are expected to be in attendance, and everyone is responsible for bringing an appetizer, an entrée, or a dessert. Jack and Lisa bring an allergy-friendly dish so that no matter what, he has a safe option. Jack and Lisa arrive early to catch up with their friends who are hosting. Other friends begin arriving, bringing their food in and setting it up on the counter, or putting it in the oven to keep warm. Jack notices that as guests arrive, Lisa asks each one of them about the ingredients and preparation methods for each dish. She’s not subtle, and she even begins to loudly scold guests for bringing dishes that aren’t safe for Jack to eat. Jack knows that Lisa only wants the best for him, but it is also clear to him that she hasn’t encountered a severe allergy with past relationships, and he thinks she may be taking it over the top. What would you do if you were Jack?

If I was Jack, I would talk to Lisa in private, thanking her for her diligence, but explaining that not everyone has to cater to my allergies, as I am comfortable eating the dish we safely prepared and brought to the dinner. I find that this discussion with your significant other about the accommodation of your food allergy at social settings is important ahead of time in order to avoid inadvertently blaming others for not accommodating an allergy. Although Lisa was being protective and this can be appreciated by anyone with a food allergy, there are more delicate ways to approach this situation that I would be more comfortable with.

Scenario Three: Meeting the Family (How and when should I bring up my allergy?)

Jack and Lisa are getting along very well, and after a few weeks, Jack brings Lisa home to meet his family. Jack’s parents meet Lisa and they enjoy a lovely evening together. Lisa has planned for Jack to meet her family and invites him over for brunch one Saturday. Jack is greeted warmly by Lisa’s parents. Everyone sits down on the patio to enjoy a lovely brunch, but Jack notices that his allergen is on the table and everyone is using the same serving spoon for everything. Jack knows that the food has been cross-contaminated, and that he shouldn’t eat anything in order to avoid an allergic reaction. Jack sips his coffee nervously, trying to think of how to approach this.

It can be difficult to bring up your allergies to a significant other’s family after they’ve already served you food. You don’t want to seem rude by refusing, especially if you’re meeting them for the first time. However, it is important to remember that first and foremost, I would never eat cross-contaminated food. You can pretend that you’re not hungry, or you have a stomach ache, or even pretend you have a phone call and make an exit. These tactics will probably work, but they won’t work every time, and you don’t want to start off a relationship with your significant other’s parents by lying. The best approach is to bring up your allergy calmly (preferably before the actual meal), explain what might happen if you eat your allergen in order to convey the severity of it to them, and reassure the family that it’s not their fault. Or make sure that your partner explains your allergies in detail to their parents ahead of time. This can be challenging but it’s better that is happens sooner, rather than later.

Dating is fun, it’s exciting, and sometimes it’s scary, especially with food allergies, but keep some of these scenarios in mind the next time you hit the town for a date and it will go smoothly!

– Fraser K.