Category Archives: Allergies and Relationships

Setting the Mood: Letting your Partner know about your Food Allergies

As Valentine’s Day looms closer, it’s easy to fall under the spell of Cupid’s arrow and think of romantic nights out with someone special. Whether it’s your first or tenth date, this time of year sends butterflies fluttering around your stomach, but let’s hope it’s the nerves of a first date and not your food allergies causing a rumble in there. So, when should you tell your significant other or first date about your food allergies? When is the right time to air this tumultuous subject? The answer is as soon as possible, like, do it now… I’ll wait.

There’s no point in stalling till your inches away from your allergen, or second guessing what they ate before you go in for a kiss. Treating your food allergies like a mysterious secret waiting to be unravelled is not a good dating tool. It’s a serious topic that deserves to be mentioned upfront with honesty and confidence. If you’re anything like me, you tend to undervalue your food allergies around new people for fear of how they will react to the little inconveniences it may cause them. It’s a nasty habit I picked up in school; no one wants to be different or stand out, so I brushed off the seriousness of my allergies or neglected to tell people right away. I waited till the absolute last second causing myself serious anxiety from being near my allergens when it could have been avoided. It’s a habit I try to break every day in adulthood but unfortunately it rears its ugly head every so often.

This bad habit of ignoring the seriousness of our food allergies or hiding them under a rug should never carry over into our dating lives. It’s a subject that will inevitably come up, and chances are much like a lump under a rug: it’s going to trip you up, make you fall flat on your face and seriously ruin your day. Picture this, you’re on a date with the greatest person, you’re shy, they’re nervous, and so far, the evening has been wonderful. And then the two of you walk you up to the doors of a beautiful Thai restaurant where your date has made reservations for you. Great! The only problem is you’re extremely allergic to tree nuts, peanuts, and sesame. Uh oh, now you have go through the awkward process of telling them about your allergies, why you can’t eat there, why you didn’t tell them beforehand, etc.  To think all this could have been avoid if you were just open and honest about your food allergies.

Be confident and proud of your food allergies! After all, they are a part of you and help make you the amazing person you are! Tell them about your food allergies, how serious they are, where you can eat comfortably and anything else that makes you feel safe. It’s better to be upfront honest with them rather than misguiding in order to appear easy-going or not too picky.  Chances are they’ll understand, listen and heck, even care about your allergies and safety! And if they don’t care or try to help, they’re really not worth dating in the first place, are they? Valentine’s Day can be romantic, fun, exciting, or anything you want it to be. The butterflies in your stomach or nerves at the table should come from harmless first date jitters and attraction, not the food on your plate. Telling new people about your food allergies can be tough and even scary sometimes. But the weight you’ll feel when it’s lifted off your shoulders is immense, and it’ll leave the rest of your evening open to discussing similar interests, sharing candid smiles and enjoying one seriously romantic evening. After all, your allergies are a part of you, and you want someone to love you for who you really are.



Valentine’s Treats for All!

Because I love you all so much, I thought I’d share my top 5 favourite treats. These have been heavily adapted from various sources so that they are safe from: eggs, milk, mustard, peanuts, crustaceans and molluscs, fish, sesame seeds, soy, sulphites, tree Nuts, wheat and triticale. They should also be dairy-safe, gluten-safe, and, depending on the type of safe butter or milk you use, vegan. Please feel free to comment below if you need ideas on how to adapt them to make them safe for other allergies too!

  1. Fried Granola

No time? This takes less than 14 minutes.

Simply melt over medium heat:

3 Tbsp coconut oil or butter alternative

¼ cup (c) raw sugar or sulphite-free brown sugar

         Then add and brown:

2 cups of Gluten-Free (GF) oats or puffed rice

½ c optional toppings (chocolate chips, coconut, pumpkin seeds, dried fruit etc.)

Serve with your favourite allergen-friendly milk.

  1. Tapioca Gummies

You’ll need silicone candy moulds for these, and a bit of time, but they’re well worth the effort! Mix together:

1 ½ c tapioca starch

 ½ c coconut flour or rice flour

½ c white sugar

1 can of coconut milk

 ½ c of allergen friendly milk

This will make a goopy liquid. Split it into plastic bags, and add flavourings or colour as desired.

Pour it into the moulds in thin layers, about 1/8” at a time. Steam them for 2-3 minutes, then add the next layer and repeat. Different colours/flavours can be put into the gummies as you’d like. Once the mould is full, steam an extra 2 minutes, then chill for at least 30 minutes before removing from the mould. If they’re not coming out peacefully, freeze them 10 minutes before removing from moulds. These last about a week, and are even better if dipped in chocolate.

  1. Coconut Macaroons

Preheat oven to 350°F, and prepare a silicone cookie sheet (or a greased cookie sheet)

Blend 3 cups of shredded sulphite-safe coconut, until it is not quite butter.

Mix in 2 Tbsp of thick syrup (Like golden syrup, rice syrup, or agave syrup)

Using a round tablespoon, pack firmly and lay on a cookie sheet. Silicone or parchment paper helps.

Brush with ½ Tbsp melted coconut oil or butter alternative, and bake 8-10 minutes until golden brown.

Dip into melted chocolate if desired.

  1. Pizza

Haven’t found a pizzeria that caters to your allergens yet? Make some of your own!

Crust:    In an insulated mug, mix:

1 Tbsp dry yeast

1 Tbsp sugar or honey

 2/3 c lukewarm water

Once the yeast is frothing up to the top of the mug, combine it slowly with:

1 ½ c GF all-purpose flour (Or ½ c tapioca starch, ½ c GF oat flour, ½ c rice flour)

 ¼ tsp salt

Oil the inside of a large zippered plastic bag, and add your dough.

Leave it somewhere warm to rise until doubled in size- this will even work under your shirt if you don’t poke it.

Knead again until smooth.

Press onto pizza pan, add toppings, and bake at 350°F for 20-30 mins.

Topping Ideas:   Can’t eat tomato sauce?

Blend equal parts cooked sweet potato and beets with a dash of rice vinegar. Or try just using mashed butternut squash!

No cheese?

I had a hard time finding safe allergen-friendly cheese for me, so I used to make a roux. I would melt allergy safe butter, add GF flours (rice or oat works well, but if you add tapioca starch too it gets stretchy!), then add allergy safe milk.

  1. Tempered Chocolate

Once you have finally found allergen-friendly chocolate, the secret to making any chocolate-based Valentine’s treat for your sweetheart is to temper the chocolate first. Once that is done, you can pour it into a chocolate mould (silicone makes it easy to get it out again!) and make truffles, or simply draw chocolate on wax paper and freeze it. You’ll need a candy thermometer, and you can either use an electric fondue pot or a double boiler for the melting.

  1. Heat half of your allergen-friendly chocolate chips to between 110°F and 115°F
  2. Add extra chocolate until the chocolate cools down to 80°F-84°F
  3. Carefully increase the heat until the chocolate is 88°F-91°F. Keep it there, and use the chocolate for dipping, pouring, moulding, etc.
  4. Extra chocolate left over can be frozen, chipped off the pot, and then re-used later… If it lasts that long.

May your Valentine’s Day be safe and enjoyable!

-Janice H.

University/College Top 3 Tips Series: Going out with New Friends

One of the best parts of going to school is that you will have the opportunity to make lots of new friends. However, with any situation of making new friends, breaking the ice about your allergies can be difficult. Below are my top 3 tips to how to best manage going out with new friends while being safe with your allergies.

  1. Tell them in advance

It is always a lot easier for both yourself and your friends to talk about your food allergies in advance of going out. It can be a fun fact you bring up about yourself when meeting people for the first time. I always find it easiest to introduce when I’m going out to eat with people. Usually if they ask what I want I’ll say, “Anything without nuts because I’m allergic to them!” I try to keep it casual and not make a big deal about it because I don’t want to make anybody afraid to eat with me.

  1. Come up with activities that don’t involve food

It’s always a good plan to have some ideas of activities to do with your friends when you go out that doesn’t involve food. Look up different things to do in the new city or town. For most people, the city will probably be quite new to them so exploring the place you will be living for the next little while is always a fun idea!

  1. Find some places that are safe for you to eat

A lot of the time when going out, people will default to food-related activities. Make sure you have restaurant options that you know are safe for you to eat at. That way when you say that you have an allergy you can offer a list of choices for your new friends to choose from. This helps makes accommodating your allergy easier for others and ensures you will be comfortable when eating out as well.

Making new friends can be difficult – especially when you have a food allergy. It is always best to tell them when you first meet them so everybody is well aware and can ensure that your allergies are accommodated for when you go out! It is also a good idea to let people know where your auto-injector is and how to use it in case of an emergency! If you have any other tips when going out with new friends, I’d love to hear about it in a comment below!

– Lindsay S.

C is for Confidence: A Food Allergy Story

Something I know now to be the corner stone of my food allergy identity is confidence. Confidence taught, learned, and exercised at a young age is key to becoming an adult who speaks up about their food allergy in every situation. If your confidence is stolen or stifled, it can cause many kids to become ashamed of their food allergies. Then they may attempt to hide their allergy from others or dismiss the seriousness of it which makes the potential for a reaction so much larger. Instead of fighting for your child to have certain foods in a classroom, we should be explaining the severity and importance of awareness. Confidence can be a shield for ignorance and a tool to help change the perception many have about food allergies.

Confidence is the most important skill you can craft when it comes to having a food allergy and it’s something that I think needs to be instilled at a young age. We as a food allergy community need to be building each other up, and helping to educate those around us so no one feels bad or ashamed on a daily basis. If we understand at a young age that we are all unique and beautiful, then the classroom and world will be a far more accepting place.

There is a saying: It takes a village to raise a child. As a community, we should be working together to help those with food allergies gain a voice that is proud of their food allergy. Confidence in myself and my fellow classmates would have made a world of difference between eating alone and helping everyone understand food allergies at my school. It seems like a small skill, but those little seeds tended to over years in school and into adulthood will create an aware, powerful counterpart in the food allergy community. A community that is dedicated to educating others, but more importantly, confident and proud in themselves.

– Arianne K.

Valentine’s Day with Food Allergies

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Valentine’s with an allergy?

Well, I got you!

Valentine’s Day is one of the most romantic days of the year. Maybe you and your long-term partner are planning a weekend getaway to relax and enjoy each other’s company or maybe you and your girlfriends are planning on celebrating ‘single ladies’ style. No matter what your relationship status is, you can’t deny that Valentine’s Day is a popular holiday. I didn’t really start celebrating Valentine’s Day until I started dating my boyfriend. I remember being very nervous the first Valentine’s Day we celebrated together because I had actually no idea what I was going to be able to eat. I was so worried that we would get to the restaurant and then be forced to leave because I wouldn’t be able to eat anything. So my advice? Don’t be like me! Be confident and take initiative! Over the last four years of dating my boyfriend, I’ve come up with some tips and tricks to master Valentine’s Day:

Valentines day hearts on wooden backgroundPlan ahead! – Going out for dinner? Think ahead. My boyfriend and I already contacted the manager of the restaurant we are thinking of trying this Valentine’s Day, two weeks in advance. Valentine’s Day itself is a very busy day/night at most restaurants, so don’t contact the restaurant the day of. Contact the restaurant maybe two, three, or even seven days in advance and speak to the manager. The majority of classier restaurants usually also do special “Valentine’s Day” menus and these menus are typically different from their usual menus. Just because you’ve been to a restaurant before does not mean it’s going to be safe for you on Valentine’s Day. The manager will be able to give you the best advice on what is going to be safest for you. Once you get to the restaurant, request to speak to the person you’ve already contacted. I’ve had amazing experiences at The KEG, Baton Rogue, and Copacabana on Valentine’s Day.

Laura Secord – If you’re allergic to peanuts and tree nuts and have never had the opportunity to try Valentine’s Day chocolate in a box because of the enormous amount of nut products in these chocolate filled boxes, Laura Secord has your back. The 100-year-old Canadian chocolate franchise has an assortment of peanut-free and tree nut-free chocolates in both bars and boxes. They even have a special Valentine’s Day nut-free chocolate assortment box. I picked up a box the other day and it was incredibly delicious. Start making hints to your date that you’re craving some delicious Laura Secord nut-free chocolate this Valentine’s Day. Go Canada!

Keep it simple! – There’s honestly no need to go out for dinner to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Keep yourself safe (and save yourself some cash) by inviting your Valentine over to your place this Valentine’s Day. Make an allergen-safe dinner at home together and watch a cool movie. You will not only have a great time, but you and your Valentine will bond by being able to share with him/her your allergen-safe secrets. You (and your wallet) will be grateful that you’re not out on arguably the busiest dining out night of the year.

Don’t make Valentine’s Day revolve around food! – Who said Valentine’s Day had to be associated with food? Celebrate the day with your loved one by doing something or going somewhere that you wouldn’t usually go to; take a trip to Niagara Falls, go skiing, or take out those skates and go to the nearest ice rink. You make your own fun!

The most important piece of advice I can give you is to enroll your loved one. Share with your Valentine your worries and come up with a game plan in advance together. Get asked out on a date and you’re told that the restaurant is a surprise? Immediately take the initiative and share with your date that you have allergies and you’d love to be a part of planning so that you two can find a suitable destination for you. My boyfriend now takes initiative even before I do! It’s not supposed to be a scary or stressful night, so find a way to have fun with it.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

– Giulia C.

To Epi or not to Epi? Why I Stupidly Delayed Giving Myself Epinephrine

At the Library

I grew into several life-threatening food allergies when I was 19 years old, and learning to manage these allergies has been challenging. Let me tell you a story. I was spending an afternoon in a local library studying for an upcoming university exam and I decided to refuel at the library café. I ordered an iced cappuccino and after drinking a few sips, I could feel something was wrong. I could feel my throat beginning to swell and I began to feel dizzy. I looked to the café and realized that the same blender that was used to make my cappuccino was also being used to make fruit smoothies. Among the long list of allergies that I grew into are raw fruits and raw vegetables.

I was having another reaction. My throat continued to close, I felt more faint, and I was starting to have trouble breathing.

I grabbed my backpack and took out the medications I bring everywhere with me: antihistamines and my EpiPen®. I took the antihistamines, but I was hesitant to take my EpiPen®. I gathered my things, quickly got to my car, and drove to a nearby hospital. I parked my car in the emergency department (ED) parking lot and waited.

I couldn’t swallow, I was having trouble breathing, and I felt really nauseous. I made a deal with myself: if at any time this reaction gets worse, I’ll take my EpiPen®, and go into the ED.
My symptoms remained unchanged for the next half hour, and
then began to resolve over the next few hours.

Looking back, I was extremely lucky.


Now, another story. I was helping move some furniture at a friend’s house two summers ago. After we finished lifting the last bookcase, his father brought us both a glass of wine. After one sip I felt strange. My typical symptoms occurred (throat swelling, difficulty breathing, dizziness, and extreme nausea) but this time they came on like a freight train. I ran to get my EpiPen® and immediately administered it to the outside of my right thigh. Then I took an antihistamine. We alerted 911 and sat on the couch. Minutes after my first EpiPen®, my throat completely closed off. Even as I write this right now, I become very emotional. Those were some very tense minutes that felt like an eternity. My friend’s father was calmly instructing 911 what was happening, and my friend administered a second EpiPen® to my left leg. I was still gasping for air and my swollen throat would not let any air in. The fire fighters burst through the door. I felt a little air pass into my lungs – the second EpiPen® was working. I am so thankful that I did what I did, and that my friend and his family knew what to do too. They saved my life.

In my first story I didn’t take my EpiPen® and I am well aware how lucky I was in that situation. I have had 12 anaphylactic reactions in the past seven years, and in some circumstances, I chose not to take my EpiPen®. In retrospect, I wish I had used it every time. So, why didn’t I? Here are some common themes that I’ve noticed about my decisions:

  • This one won’t be serious, right?

I have had 12 allergic reactions in the past and most of the time I use my EpiPen®. I have never had what’s called a “biphasic” reaction, I have never needed a breathing tube in the emergency department, I have never been admitted to the hospital for my allergies, and before the reaction at my friend’s house, I have never stopped breathing completely. So, why would I have serious complications during this allergic reaction?

  • Guilt

When I administer my EpiPen®, I call 911, go to the hospital, and receive care from nurses and doctors. Usually, by the time I get to the hospital I am stabilizing, I am able to breathe without difficulty, and the swelling in my throat decreases. In the emergency department I look around and see some really sick patients – elderly patients, infants, and those who are not as fortunate as I to be recovering. I feel very guilty that I am taking up a bed. I don’t deserve this.

  • Costly

The ambulance in Ontario will cost a patient under 65 years-of-age $45, and replacement EpiPens® can cost over $100 if you do not have insurance.

  • Waste of time

After using an EpiPen® and calling 911, patients are routinely kept in the ED for 4 hours to see if they will have a biphasic reaction. This is how long it takes the epinephrine to wear off. So after the reaction, the ride to the hospital, and the ride home, at least 6 hours have gone by and it’s often more time than I can afford to give up.

It’s important to understand the difference between the medications that can help us during an allergic reaction. An EpiPen® contains the medication epinephrine (also called adrenaline). Benadryl® and other over the counter allergy medications are commonly referred to as antihistamines. The medication in Benadryl® is called diphenhydramine. It’s not necessarily useful to remember these long names, but it can be important to understand how these medications work in order to avoid making the mistake that I have made – choosing not to take my EpiPen®. Epinephrine does the job of an antihistamine but it helps in more ways, and it works much faster with stronger effects. It is always the medication of choice for life-threatening allergic reactions.

I have to be honest, there is one important reason why I chose not to take my EpiPen® that I haven’t told you yet. Whether we’ve had one happen to us, watched a friend have one, or heard the story of a friend’s reaction, anaphylactic reactions are terrifying.

A man is reacting to something he didn't expect

It’s actually happening…

Sometimes, in the early stages of an allergic reaction, it may be tricky to discern if what is happening actually is a reaction. In a situation where I may not be sure whether I am having a reaction, I used to feel that by administering my EpiPen®, I was confirming that this was, in-fact, a reaction. When people are presented with bad news, a well-known coping mechanism involves going through the Kubler-Ross stages of grieving (

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

The bad news I was presented with was, “Fraser, you’re having an anaphylactic reaction.” By not administering myself my EpiPen® I was dealing with this bad news by denying it. I have coped with the news of an allergic reaction with other stages in the past as well. When I drove myself from the library and waited in the emergency room parking lot, I was bargaining with myself: “Okay, I’ll wait here and take an antihistamine deal?”. I know it can be difficult to do, but the safest and most effective way to deal with an allergic reaction is to skip right to acceptance.

If my body had reacted more rapidly while I was in the library, I may not have made it to the hospital safely due to the way I handled the reaction. In short, in the future, I will always use my EpiPen®. Unsure? EpiPen®. Scared? EpiPen®. It is impossible to predict how one’s body will react to the same allergen an additional time, so basing what might happen based on my history of reactions is not a good idea. Financial cost and a short stay in the emergency department should never influence my decision to take care of myself. Allergies, whether we like them or not, may be part of our lives and they are of no fault of our own. Accepting them as a part of what makes us special can be difficult, but once this is done, it makes the challenge of having allergies much more manageable.

– Fraser K.

When a Boy with a Food Allergy Walked into my Life: Girlfriend Edition

Chocolate covered almonds, peanut butter sandwiches, and M & M’s are a few of my favourite things to eat! For me, going a day without peanuts, tree nuts, or almonds was as rare as a black swan. I have been very lucky in my life to have no food allergies. On top of that, my family and my closest friends are also allergy-free. Needless to say, you can imagine how much my life flipped the moment I found out my major crush (who is now my boyfriend) informed me of his life-threatening allergy to peanuts and tree nuts. This was also a relief for me, as I understood why we didn’t share a kiss after our first date.

The first time we kissed, and several times after, I noticed a trend. The question “have you consumed any nuts today?” along with an interrogation of my diet, was something I quickly got accustomed to. I’ve never been questioned before kissing someone, so that was a totally new experience for me. Talk about feeling pressured! This wasn’t a typical question that had a range of answers, it was either yes or no. I had to be 100% sure or else my boyfriend’s life was at stake. I became very well acquainted with ingredient labels on all products. This helped me to feel confident to ensure I was nut-free and kissable on days when I was visiting my boyfriend.

Woman trying to kiss a man and he is rejecting her outdoor in a park
Before kissing someone, ensure they have not eaten your allergen!

I began making a list of personal items that may contain peanuts and tree nuts, or could have been contaminated at some point (with the amount of peanuts and tree nuts in my life, you can imagine how long this list was). If there’s one thing my friends know about me, it’s that I love my chap stick. In all honesty, I use it hourly! So I chose to assume all previously used one were contaminated and bought new ones. I then marked the new ones with permanent marker to indicate that they were nut-free and safe from cross-contamination. As I used my old personal items that potentially came into contact with nuts, I eventually replaced them with nut-free products that would be safe around my boyfriend. After all, if things go well with this guy, my future will be surrounded by a nut-free environment so I might as well get used to that sooner rather than later.

I currently live at home and figured it would be important for my parents to be informed of my boyfriend’s food allergies. To help my parents have a better understanding, I named a couple of examples of tree nuts such as hazelnuts, walnuts, and almonds. It was a good thing I did, as my dad later questioned me about almonds. This gave me an opportunity to educate my parents further and since I had their attention, I brought up the topic of cross-contamination, such as clean nut-free counter tops when my boyfriend is visiting. My parents were put to the test over the holidays when they invited him over for Christmas dinner.

I made sure I went over the ingredients with my parents to certify everything was nut-free and I reminded my parents to stay away from items such as previously opened butters that could have been contaminated. I am happy to say that the dinner was delicious, and my boyfriend was able to enjoy an allergen-free turkey dinner.

Couple shopping in a supermarket

I thought the holidays was a big test, but that was nothing compared to the vegan pot luck get together my friends and I choose to organize. Vegan dinners tend to contain a lot of tree nuts due to their high protein content. As mentioned earlier, none of my close friends have any food allergies. During the planning phase, my friends and I went over who was making what dish. To tone down the anxiety my boyfriend may feel that night, I picked a main dish so the both of us could be confident knowing there is at least one thing we could eat, after all, kisses were on the line and going an entire day with my boyfriend and not being allowed to kiss him, seemed torturous! Next, I became the nut police, or at least that’s what my friends called me. I made sure each person was aware of the extent of my boyfriend’s allergy to peanuts and tree nuts. A couple days before the big day, I started giving some tips on reading labels, and foods/areas to avoid (such as pre-made salads) at the grocery store. I reminded my friends to pay close attention to their ingredients, and if they made a mistake, and accidentally contaminated their meal with nuts, to be aware of that so that I could inform my boyfriend of which foods to avoid. Not only was my boyfriend able to feel relaxed during our get together, but my friends also chose to support the new change in my life, and learned more about accommodating food allergies.

I had no idea the impact his food allergy would have on my life, but I found the transition to be much easier, especially when kisses are up for grabs.

– Cindy B