Category Archives: Dating and Allergies

Allergies and Relationships, Dating and Allergies, Eating and Drinking with Allergies

When a Boy with a Food Allergy Walked into my Life: Girlfriend Edition

August 2, 2016 1 Comment

Chocolate covered almonds, peanut butter sandwiches, and M & M’s are a few of my favourite things to eat! For me, going a day without peanuts, tree nuts, or almonds was as rare as a black swan. I have been very lucky in my life to have no food allergies. On top of that, my family and my closest friends are also allergy-free. Needless to say, you can imagine how much my life flipped the moment I found out my major crush (who is now my boyfriend) informed me of his life-threatening allergy to peanuts and tree nuts. This was also a relief for me, as I understood why we didn’t share a kiss after our first date.

The first time we kissed, and several times after, I noticed a trend. The question “have you consumed any nuts today?” along with an interrogation of my diet, was something I quickly got accustomed to. I’ve never been questioned before kissing someone, so that was a totally new experience for me. Talk about feeling pressured! This wasn’t a typical question that had a range of answers, it was either yes or no. I had to be 100% sure or else my boyfriend’s life was at stake. I became very well acquainted with ingredient labels on all products. This helped me to feel confident to ensure I was nut-free and kissable on days when I was visiting my boyfriend.

Woman trying to kiss a man and he is rejecting her outdoor in a park — Before kissing someone, ensure they have not eaten your allergen!

I began making a list of personal items that may contain peanuts and tree nuts, or could have been contaminated at some point (with the amount of peanuts and tree nuts in my life, you can imagine how long this list was). If there’s one thing my friends know about me, it’s that I love my chap stick. In all honesty, I use it hourly! So I chose to assume all previously used one were contaminated and bought new ones. I then marked the new ones with permanent marker to indicate that they were nut-free and safe from cross-contamination. As I used my old personal items that potentially came into contact with nuts, I eventually replaced them with nut-free products that would be safe around my boyfriend. After all, if things go well with this guy, my future will be surrounded by a nut-free environment so I might as well get used to that sooner rather than later.

I currently live at home and figured it would be important for my parents to be informed of my boyfriend’s food allergies. To help my parents have a better understanding, I named a couple of examples of tree nuts such as hazelnuts, walnuts, and almonds. It was a good thing I did, as my dad later questioned me about almonds. This gave me an opportunity to educate my parents further and since I had their attention, I brought up the topic of cross-contamination, such as clean nut-free counter tops when my boyfriend is visiting. My parents were put to the test over the holidays when they invited him over for Christmas dinner.

I made sure I went over the ingredients with my parents to certify everything was nut-free and I reminded my parents to stay away from items such as previously opened butters that could have been contaminated. I am happy to say that the dinner was delicious, and my boyfriend was able to enjoy an allergen-free turkey dinner.

Couple shopping in a supermarket

I thought the holidays was a big test, but that was nothing compared to the vegan pot luck get together my friends and I choose to organize. Vegan dinners tend to contain a lot of tree nuts due to their high protein content. As mentioned earlier, none of my close friends have any food allergies. During the planning phase, my friends and I went over who was making what dish. To tone down the anxiety my boyfriend may feel that night, I picked a main dish so the both of us could be confident knowing there is at least one thing we could eat, after all, kisses were on the line and going an entire day with my boyfriend and not being allowed to kiss him, seemed torturous! Next, I became the nut police, or at least that’s what my friends called me. I made sure each person was aware of the extent of my boyfriend’s allergy to peanuts and tree nuts. A couple days before the big day, I started giving some tips on reading labels, and foods/areas to avoid (such as pre-made salads) at the grocery store. I reminded my friends to pay close attention to their ingredients, and if they made a mistake, and accidentally contaminated their meal with nuts, to be aware of that so that I could inform my boyfriend of which foods to avoid. Not only was my boyfriend able to feel relaxed during our get together, but my friends also chose to support the new change in my life, and learned more about accommodating food allergies.

I had no idea the impact his food allergy would have on my life, but I found the transition to be much easier, especially when kisses are up for grabs.

– Cindy B

Allergies and Attitude, Allergies and Relationships, Allergies in the Workplace, Dating and Allergies, Eating and Drinking with Allergies

Top Ten Tips Series: How to “Rock” Your Food Allergies

May 30, 2016 Leave a comment

As someone who has grown up since the age of nine avoiding peanuts and tree nuts, I like to think I “Rock” at managing my food allergies. If you aren’t as confident, or if you want to become even more confident, then here are my top ten tips on how to completely “Rock” your food allergies:

Wear your MedicAlert® or medical identification in case of emergency. For those like me who were really self-conscious about wearing these, there are now tons of really awesome new pieces of identification right down to military-style dog tags! Pick the one most stylish for you, then rep it and tell everyone about your food allergy.
Show and tell. Show off your auto-injector and teach others how to use it.
Be a master chef. Create a special food recipe that is allergy safe and share it with your friends to show that you too can eat delicious foods.
Don’t keep your food allergies or an allergic reaction a secret. Be proactive and tell friends what to expect before a reaction occurs. Tell them what steps they should take in an emergency.
Lead the way, spread the word! This can be done so many ways. You could write a song, create a sketch comedy routine, paint your thoughts, write a blog, write to a politician, or create a twitter account with tips on staying safe with food allergies. There’s an endless chain of possibilities here to really pave the way for every other food allergic person!
Be suave. If dating, be flirty with potential dates by incorporating your food allergy into texts. One line that has proven to open the lines of communication for me time and time again is: “Hey, please try not to eat any peanuts or tree nuts from now until I see you tomorrow ;)” The wink face may seem corny but it is very helpful in keeping the message light, but serious, by implying that I may go in for a kiss and want to be as safe as possible. Her follow-up will likely involve some opportunity for me to educate her on the potential risks of kissing if my allergens are present.
Educate co-workers. There are a lot of people who have never been exposed to food allergies and have no knowledge of the potential consequences allergen exposure can have on someone at-risk for anaphylaxis. For this reason, I think it’s important to teach the people you work with (and see every day) about food allergies. Teach them about signs and symptoms, how to use an auto-injector, where they can find yours, steps to take in case of an emergency, and how to avoid cross-contamination. If you want more advice on how to do this, check out Jason’s take on how to educate co-workers: https://adultswithallergies.com/2016/04/01/explaining-my-food-allergies-series-to-a-co-worker/
Learn from past mistakes. I’m sure we have all had a close-call (or two…or many) in our lives. I like to think that mistakes are made so that we can learn from them. I try not to dwell on them. I figure out where I went wrong and how I can improve to ensure I remain safe in the future.
Remain confident when facing adversity. No one knows you better than yourself so when you face a difficult food allergy scenario, remain confident, and stick to your safety game plan! You are the master of your food allergies.
Continue to be AWESOME! Use my tips or find your own way to rock your food allergies! Just remember, to keep being awesome.

Awesome comic bubble retro text. Pop art style

Do you have any other tips that you think would benefit other adults with allergies? Feel free to post in the comments below and start a discussion.

– Dylan B.

Dating and Allergies

Explaining My Food Allergies Series: To a Significant Other

March 28, 2016 1 Comment

Couple having intimate dinner of summer evening Explaining your allergies to anyone can be a difficult task, especially when faced with a new person you have started dating. Although it might feel uncomfortable or be hard to do, it is really important that your significant other has a good understanding of your allergies and how to help you stay safe.

When I first start to date someone, I try to bring up my allergies as early as possible in a more low key way than making it into a really serious conversation. I find that an easy way to do this is the first time I go out to eat somewhere, I casually mention that I have food allergies and that there are some restrictions as to where I can eat. By doing this, I do not have to bring my allergies up out of the blue. Another advantage of mentioning them this way is that it can ensure that we will be eating somewhere that I know is safe for me.

Typically, I don’t launch into all of the details of my allergies when I first bring it up. Often times the other person will bring it up when we do go out to eat or when we talk next as it is something they have been curious about. This is when I go through the basics of my allergies: what am I allergic to, where I carry my auto injector, and the fact that my allergies are life threatening and something to be taken seriously. I try really hard not to scare the other person as my allergies aren’t something that should intimidate or scare them. The more confident you are in talking about your allergies the more comfortable your significant other will hopefully feel about them.

At some point a little later on, it is important to ensure your significant other knows where you keep your auto injector and how to use it. People are often really interested in seeing an auto injector up close and want to know how it works so this is a great opportunity to have a teaching moment with him or her.

As you continue on in your relationship more aspects of your food allergies will come up naturally. I’ve found that topics such as safety on dates, with drinking, and travelling have been very commonly brought up. As long as you feel safe as your relationship is progressing there is no need to tell your significant other every last detail about your food allergies and how to manage them on the first date. It will be much less overwhelming and easier for them to remember if they learn over time.

Dating someone with a food allergy can be a difficult task! Especially if your allergens are a main component of your significant other’s diet. It is important to remember that this can be a big adjustment for people and it will take time for them to become knowledgeable about how you manage your allergies. Make sure you are always open to answering questions that they might have and be accepting of mistakes that they might make along the way!

If the person you are dating is right for you they will be accommodating and understanding of your allergies!

–Lindsay S.

Allergies and Relationships, Allergies in Popular Culture, Dating and Allergies, Eating and Drinking with Allergies

Five Allergy-Friendly Date Night Ideas

March 10, 2015 aaronsuth856 1 Comment

When it comes to planning a date night, ideas have a tendency to cloud my brain. I’ve thought of so many unique date night activities at random times but when asked, “what do you want to do?” flat out by a girl, my brain often likes to jumble them all up at once. Coffee or beer is an easy option. Flying a kite might be fun. Going to see a movie is always a good move. Food is an easy option too. But what about my food allergies? Being allergic to peanuts and tree nuts, I have to keep food allergy-friendly date night ideas in my back pocket or I risk setting myself (and my date) up for a night of no activities. For a food and drink junkie like me, it’s hard to envision a date night that doesn’t involve food in one way or another. So here’s a countdown of my five favourite allergy-friendly date nights (or days) and how I planned them to help you out if you ever get stuck. Keep in mind that a couple of these dates haven’t actually happened yet. But my blueprint plan is still all laid-out and waiting for that special someone.

Day trip to Toronto Island (or the beach or a nice big park). For this one, try to go somewhere that is spacious and beautiful with lots of open space. I find that fresh air on a date helps wash away any stress I may have and really keeps me happy. When I went to Toronto Island, I packed my own picnic lunch in a backpack. Food was never discussed with my date since I love giving surprises and the picnic lunch was the main surprise. By packing my own food, I had full control of what foods I would eat and what foods my date would eat. I asked her ahead of time what kinds of food she liked so she wouldn’t be disappointed by my surprise. Then I made sure I prepared some of those foods with little tweaks to ensure that they were allergen-free. I also clearly explained to my date the severity of my allergy and how to properly administer my auto-injector before date night. The important word there is before date night. Introducing my food allergy early is something I try to do as I find it keeps things more comfortable for both of us on date night. The last thing I did while planning this particular date was visit the area to make sure that there were no surprises (like a peanut café or a beach full of nut shells). If there are ever surprises, I would have to re-adjust my plans and it’s better to do that sooner rather than later.

Take a pottery class together. This is literally on my bucket list of dates-to-do. Taking a class like this is great because you get the chance to talk but you also work on something together that you can take home as a memory. Plus it just looks fun. The other bonus? Pottery class doesn’t have much risk for food allergy reactions. That being said, if you choose to do this, make sure you call the pottery people ahead of time to get a rundown of the process. Ask questions like, does everyone wash their hands before handling the clay? Do you have a vending machine on site? Think about any risks you can think of and ask if they may be present. Then just plan ahead and have some fun!

Homemade cooking/baking. For this one, the ball was completely in my court for planning. First, I brainstormed ideas about what my date and I wanted to make (oreo chocolate cheesecake brownies, of course!). Next, I looked up recipes. At this stage, I try to find allergy-friendly recipes but they don’t have to be. When I stumble upon a recipe that sounds undeniably delicious but contains my allergen, I immediately look up alternatives on the internet (Google is a huge help). Next, I went to the grocery store and picked up all the necessary ingredients and read each ingredient list carefully to ensure that nothing even “may contained” my allergen. With these steps meticulously complete, I was able to relax on date night and the final product was delicious!

Attend a baseball game (or other sporting event). This one was tricky since peanuts are everywhere at the ball park (or any sporting event for that matter). To plan, I called the venue ahead of time to ask if they had any allergy-safe sections for that match-up. Sometimes a venue will host a game where an entire section is peanut/nut free in the stands. So I try to keep my eyes out for those and plan my date night around them. When they told me they didn’t, I went to plan B: caution. I packed two auto-injectors, just in case. I made sure both my date and I had a hearty allergen-free meal before the game so we wouldn’t feel the need to buy food at the game. This was a relief for both my wallet and me. That being said, we were both snackers at events like this so we snuck in a pack of candy I knew was safe. When we decided to snack, we both washed our hands at the washroom and made sure not to touch anything before eating the candy. As for drinks, we stuck with bottled water! Simple planning for a great date.

Lord of the Rings trilogy marathon. This one will likely never ever happen but I can dream. Planning a movie date night is simple and can be really fun. Put a bunch of movie names in a hat, then pull one out and watch it. I like to add in silly movies that I’ve never heard of because it adds to the fun of pulling one out of the hat. To make it more engaging, make it a themed movie hat night and only add movie titles into the hat that fit the theme (for example, Leslie Neilson night). I asked my date to bring the hat and volunteered to think of snack ideas. Again, this kept me in control of what we both ate, just in case my date let my allergy slip her mind. By this point in our relationship, she was already quite familiar with my allergy but it never hurts to remind them not to eat your allergen within 24-48 hours of seeing you. Then just kick back, maybe cuddle, and enjoy the movie!

Sometimes date night is extravagant and other times it’s really simple. Just remember to plan ahead, always bring your auto-injector, and enjoy the little moments. Happy date night!

Dylan B.

Allergies and Relationships, Baking and Allergies, Dating and Allergies, Eating and Drinking with Allergies

Staying Safe on Valentine’s Day with Allergies

February 12, 2015 aaronsuth856 Leave a comment

Roses are in shops, chocolates are on shelves, and the year’s biggest romantic movies are in theaters. Love is in the air and so is everything else. Having a food allergy can make it hard to navigate through a holiday filled with chocolates and treats. But taking time and explaining your allergens can help ensure a great date.

Staying safe on Valentine’s Day can be tricky at any age. But following a few simple guidelines can help you avoid an allergic reaction and help you spend this special day safely with your significant other.

As always, it is important to make sure that the person you are with knows about all of your food allergies, where they can be found, where your auto-injector is, and how to use it. Making sure that your intended date knows what is safe for you to eat and be around is an important first step to staying safe on Valentine’s Day. Sometimes it can feel like the mystery and romance of the holiday is taken away. But, by talking about your food allergies in advance, you will both be prepared. A good way to ensure that a dinner date goes smoothly is to give or ask for a list of safe places to eat in advance so that you can both be better prepared.

Candy, chocolates, and roses are the quintessential staples for any good Valentine’s Day. There are plenty of safe options for delicious treats available to make your day special. If you’re buying, make sure that you read the labels very carefully, look out for “may contain labels” and, if you’re unsure, there are plenty of resources online and numbers to call and confirm ingredients. If you’re a whiz in the kitchen and you’re making a special treat from scratch, a few measures can be taken to ensure that your snack stays safe. Make sure your cooking area is cleaned and that all of your utensils are disinfected. Never use the same utensils for different foods. Ensure that you know all of the food allergies that the person you are cooking for has. Cross-contamination is just as dangerous as an allergen. So always be aware of what is around you.

Every Valentine’s Day date should be sealed with a kiss. The “will they or won’t they” butterflies in your stomach don’t need any accompaniment from stress butterflies caused by wondering if your significant other has had any contact with your allergen. The best way to avoid any unwanted stress is to, again, make sure that you communicate your allergens clearly and ensure that your date knows the severity of them. If you’re the one without the allergies, consider a dish or meal that is free of your partner’s allergen to ensure a smooth evening.

Having a food allergy should never stop you from experiencing your ideal Valentine’s Day date. Taking simple precautions to stay safe with your food allergies will ensure a magical date and a night to remember for all of the right good reasons.

Arianne K.

Allergies in Popular Culture, Dating and Allergies, Eating and Drinking with Allergies

A Night at the Movies with Allergies

January 17, 2015 aaronsuth856 1 Comment

Here are my top six tips:

Bring your own snacks. Generally, this practice is frowned upon. Concessions at the theatre help greatly to generate income for all parties involved at the movies. However, if you have severe allergies to numerous items, this is probably the best option for you to consider.

Ask questions. If you do want to try theatre popcorn, or other snacks, be sure to ask questions about food preparation. Ask, for example, what kind of oil the venue uses. Ask if they have separate fryers for various food items. If someone appears unsure about an answer, always double-check with the manager. Or just order something else. It is better to be safe than sorry!

Check ingredient labels. Some snacks at the movies come pre-packaged. Even if it is an item that you’ve had numerous times, just re-read the ingredients as a safety measure. If you are having a hard time seeing in the dark, use your cell-phone for light. Better yet, check it before you even get into the theatre.

Be an advocate for yourself. If someone decides to sit right next to you. with your top allergen, speak-up. It is okay to voice your concerns to someone in a polite manner. Usually people will be willing to move or come-up with an agreeable solution. This has happened to me a few times. Generally, I will move to find another spot if I feel uncomfortable around a stranger eating my allergen. This rule can apply to friends and family also!
Handy to have hand-sanitizer/disinfectant wipes. If you’re worried about cross-contamination on the seats and cup holders, wipe them down as soon as you pick your seats.

Carry your auto-injector. Have it on you and be prepared to use it. If someone is with you, make sure they know how to use it if necessary.

How do you stay safe at the movies with your allergies?

Nicole K.

Allergies in Popular Culture, Dating and Allergies

Guest Post – Taylor – Dating with Allergies

November 20, 2014 aaronsuth856 Leave a comment

My name is Taylor and I am a second year student studying Commerce at Queen’s University. I have serious allergies to peanuts, nuts, and fish. I am lucky that I have never suffered an anaphylactic reaction (or, as a result, had to be injected with my auto-injector).

In August 2012, I started dating my first boyfriend. We had been close friends prior. So he understood the severity of my allergies. I still needed to inform him that he could not eat any of the foods that I was allergic to on a day that he was planning to kiss me. In the beginning of our relationship, this took some getting used to because he loved to eat nuts and fish.

Growing up, I always thought that dating would be extremely difficult because of my allergies. I remember reading stories about the difficulties that teenagers experienced when dating. For example, I recall reading about a girl who was allergic to nuts. She saw the boy that she liked take a handful of almonds. If she had not seen him do so, she would have kissed him that night and would have potentially had an anaphylactic reaction.

Having experienced a relationship has taught me that dating with allergies is not as hard as I once anticipated. Yes, it is more difficult for me than for a person without allergies. But it is something that can be overcome. My boyfriend grew to learn how careful he needed to be with food when he was seeing me. He did not completely eliminate my allergens from his diet. But he would not eat foods that contained them when we had plans to get together. He was very respectful when we went out for dinner because he knew that I was selective when choosing a restaurant. When I went to his house for family dinners, I also needed to be very careful that his mother did not cook any food with my allergens. She was very respectful and careful when cooking. I appreciated that she took the time to ensure that I could partake in meals with the family!

Overall I realize that, although dating with allergies can be more difficult for me than for others, my allergies will not hold me back. I will inform all future boyfriends about the precautions to take regarding food and I am hopeful that they will respect my allergies.

Taylor R.

Adults with Allergies Blog